100 word Challenge: …you bought her what…

In a continuing effort to improve as a writer, I’ve added this exercise to my weekly drills. Writers from all over are prompted and must write a response in 100 words. Below is my first effort. It demands efficiency, encourages creativity, and I think it’s fun. Let me know what you think, and click on the image above if you’d like to participate.

This week’s prompt was: …you bought her what…

Without further adieu…

“I didn’t know.” Jake spun his wedding ring around his finger, staring at the rain.

“Didn’t know what?”

“That it was hers.” Jake’s palm smacked the column on his porch – water splashed his cheek.

“You’re overreacting.”

Jake turned to speak, but fear held his tongue.

The boy followed Jake’s gaze – his soaked mother walked up the drive, glaring at the umbrella in her husband’s hand.

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About ryan85

A son, a brother, a husband, a father of eight, and a friend. A follower of Jesus Christ. A fan of the Seminoles and all teams Atlanta. I write, I read, and teach when I can. I prefer red pens. I'm easily distracted. I've lived in Augusta, GA, northern Minnesota, the beautiful western NC mountains, and Tallahassee, FL - Go 'Noles. I played football for FSU, was on the national championship team in 1999, and took a few snaps with the Pittsburgh Steelers. My favorite colors are fluorescent yellow, and Garnet & Gold. I drive a minivan and think it's cool.
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20 Responses to 100 word Challenge: …you bought her what…

  1. jfb57 says:

    Hello Ryan & welcome to 100WCGU!
    It is so good to see your work & I hope you will become a regular to our weekly fun.
    I really enjoyed this. Loved the way you used the weather to add to the scene and frustration of the hero (or was he?!) Just a little point – for this prompt you should have used the words given. Sometimes the instructions are a little different but I won’t hold it against you this time! 😉
    Julia

  2. I wasn’t expecting that! It seemed to be building to a crescendo and I breathed a sigh of relief when I read it was only an umbrella. Or was it? Is she so highly strung that this could push her over the edge?
    Love the fact that there are so many ways this could go.

    • ryan85 says:

      I like how you’re thinking, and that’s why I think these are so cool. Anything can happen. I picture her glaring at Jake, then shoving him into the rain, and then all three of them dance and play for awhile. She’s not so high strung after all. Thanks for checking in.

  3. Uh oh, Jake’s in trouble. He better buy a big, beautiful umbrella for his wife. Great first entry.

  4. Sally-Jayne says:

    I agree with Anna – I was wondering right to the end what he had taken that belonged to someone else that could cause him such fear and worry, and I laughed to find it was ‘just’ an umbrella. I think he needs to buy lots of flowers and chocolates to be forgiven for that error!

  5. snagglewordz says:

    Hahaha! I really like this. Based on personal experience?

  6. Lorely says:

    Nice to see a new kid on the block! Loved your piece – the rain added to it, and the tension with the kid. The umbrella turned out to be a great relief – but maybe Jake was too nervous!

  7. Judee says:

    It was fun, and made me smile. One big oops! My first time too, instructions are learned as we go.

  8. buddhafulkat says:

    Poor Jake! There tension and comic relief with the umbrella. Well done!

  9. So what did he buy her to apologise for taking her umbrella?

  10. IsobelandCat says:

    Very nice and it has tension and humour.

  11. susankmann says:

    What an excellent first piece. Welcome to The 100 word count challenge. I was pleased to hear it was just an umbrella.

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